Part Of You

Part Of You

Remember when his smile was sweet

And his eyes were bright

Remember when he said he'll wait but that was a lie

Another night by his side and he made you crave his touch

Let’s get naked, he said

He made you feel you were ready then

He gave you butterflies, even down there

Life is too short and so was his patience

And even then, it was your friends who said

If you don’t give it to him, someone else will

His moisture saturated your damp lips

Then he was everywhere

Centre, wet and wild

He called it good old fashioned lovin’

“This… you cannot do with just anyone...”

“Baby, you know… I got you, I love you…”

“No one… will ever love you like I do…”

So probably God had sent him hey?

You could barely breathe then

Your body, a map for him to explore

Your diverse environments, places,

And spaces of your surface and their relations

A look on your face that could only mean

Yes-baby-please-more

Then your body began to melt

Even when you felt it was on fire

And you saw your own flames reflect in his eyes

He parted your legs like Moses parted the sea

He named your daughters after the stars and their constellations

Drops of Jupiter was a good way to get started

Let’s get it on was him pulling your pants down

Partition is how he opened your legs to a tantalising view

With hot chills on your thighs, you asked him to give you more

Just like it sounds, you all went Sensual

In the morning he left whilst you slept

You quit burning

And this, The Weekend had never prepared you for

Weeks later, he barely made time for you

And when you realised he’d made a fool out of you

It was too late, all he wanted was a part of you

The thought of you burning to his touch

And now you feel like a witch on the stack

Your clothes smell of smoke

Your flammable life and you

…catching fire easily

Prince Rayanne Chidzvondo

Cannabis Goddess

Prince Rayanne Chidzvondo

The goddess came to me in moments of need

Rolled in a dope blunt

She smiled and declared me the chosen one

If only I chose to choose her like others had done

I honour you with this blessing

Blessings like soft kisses in the evening

I will kiss you to sleep

You can make me your morning glory

Or whenever you see it fit

There’s never a moment we will miss

Of dreamers, sweet chasers and untold bliss

You must nurture me in kind

Give me love, grow me in the sun for I am the medicine the people need

She told me it won't be easy

She's been ripped out of the ground

Denied the chance to be a grower

So I must protect our secret with love

Queen of my heart when she smokes through my dark nights

Cannabis Goddess

September the 1st, 2016, Was a Night with a Full Moon

Star Gazing

This wine got me feeling tipsy,

Its 2 am and we’re on the balcony,

Reading each other’s stories

Like books without happy endings

Of conversations that bore their own lives

We nearly saw them flying, smiling

Two different corners for the papers and the blunts

Bring Bob Marley, bring Malcom

This wine is so fine it got us singing

Songs of redemption, Act

Songs of imperfection, Rye

Songs of emancipation, Rae

We learn, we all seek freedom

In our past lives, we were unrestricted

Sky high, soaring over Egyptian pyramids

Now this has felt like bondage

We are no longer at ease

Chains are all over us like the days of slavery

Mr Jailer, My keeper, My lover

This wine though

Hanging sweet on our lips

Like the kiss of the one that got away

We appreciate our nightmares, our sweetest dreams

Reality remains complex

But there is love in us, so we say

So, we feel

So, we deal with our insecurities

We laugh at our personalities

How complex, to breathe and to wait

This wine though

Is it just me or we are all feeling it?

We could all have been birds of the phoenix

Spreading our wings to be the light in all this darkness

What a way to live, we are going to die anyway

This reincarnation gate crashed the wrong party

But with us happy never ends

Only says good bye

I can’t remember its name

Let’s drink from the bottle, our un-holy grail

And we are fine with it

Pulling strings of the guitar

Like the heart was a musical instrument

I can’t sing, we all laugh

I’m a lover of things

We are okay with it

This wine though, hmm!

We watch shooting stars

I make a wish, to always have friends like this

To feel comfortable in my own skin

To lend my shoes to someone

And hear them say, it was no easy walk

To not feel judged, fake, pathetic

To look at the stars, a consolation

In this night, we belong

Just like this wine bottle was betrothed to me

I want to hold on

I’m packed with the right crowd, my friends

Friends, a word sweet sounding now

A word appealing, a word with meaning

If blood is thicker than water

Allow my whole body to be an ocean

I don’t mind looking at the stars

Writing poetry for gods who have never heard of us

Gods who will forgive us, love us

It was the Nubian Princess, the Aquarian artist

The dreadlocked singer

And I, the hopeless romantic, the star gazer

And with this wine, we washed our hands

Allowed the self-conviction to die in the middle of the night

We let it all pass-over

But I am no Moses and this staff is made of ink and plastic

These pages shall part like the red sea

Into a world of dreams – and me

(Prince Rayanne Chidzvondo)

Fear

Fear was the stranger outside
Watching me in the shower
Fear was the monster under my bed
When ever I tried to sleep

Fear was the stalker in the shadows
When I walked in the hood at night
Fear was the man in the dark corners, waiting to pounce, claim my body, suck my blood
Fear was always there you know, waiting there

He was the nightmare at night
Fear was the night
Fear was that feeling of a sand papered hand brushing against my thighs again in the deep of the night
Fear is how I held my breath in so tight
Fear was being to weak to fight
Fear was those forbidden thoughts in my head, to maybe stab him with a knife...
It was crawling into the corner of my bed in flight
Fear was a prisoner of my will as I tried to rub the thought out of my head
Two years later
Five years later
Ten years later

Fear was the coming domination
The presence of a sin we both new was wrong
Fear was the fall
The fight
Fear was embracing the dark marks that decorated my body
It was the dark purple bruises telling me I couldn't tell anyone

Its been fifteen years
On the darker days, I feel his breath
His scent crawls into my skin to remind me I should be afraid

In my coffee, I see his face reminding me hurting me was his pleasure

In the echoes I hear my own inner child groaning
In the unbearable pain of some deep abandoned mine

Fear lost that child's voice and even when life found it, they never voiced that part of him
That part of me

When fear formed, he lost his voice
When he found his voice, fear wasn't lost
It was never fear when they talked about rape
but said mine was a call for attention and I was silenced

It wasn't fear that made rape culture normal because she was female Nonexistent 

(because he was male)
It was fear that made me afraid to live, to breathe, to be
To feel
It was fear that took over my life, my views of people, my memories
my soul
It was fear that haunted me when I saw my best friend's father wearing that same shirt
It was fear that broke me when I saw someone like him on 'People you may know'
Even when you think you've beaten fear
It goes on and beats you best
It finds you in your sleep
Holds you, suffocates you, kills you bit by bit
In your dreams,
it conceals itself in different forms.
And even when it isn't direct,
you know it's there
I could feel it
It slipped itself into everything I did and felt
Now its the fear that may be crazy to someone who wont understand it
Now its the fear of the child next door giving excuses to the 'why its got to be' and why 'they need to be silent'
The fear or of being taken advantage of, sexually.
And maybe we are a little crazy from what has happened to us.

But you wont know this fear until his touched you.


#Fear #Hurt #Rape #Voice #RapeCulture

Rayanne Prince Chidzvondo

Reflections

Staring at her reflection in the mirror, not thinking anything and just staring.
A few minutes later she takes a deep breath and opens the drawer
Takes out a box and observes it for quite a whileq
She takes out a blood red lip color and begins to apply
While applying the lipstick she remembers how exciting dressing up was to her when she was a child
When she was still skinny
With the small waist, smaller thighs
With the right look of perfection
This red color is much brighter to her than now
The bangles in her hand are much more fascinating than what they really are
She recalls the days when she used to steal  her mother's makeup kit, She recalls how her mother used to beat her up as if she had committed some heavy sin
Her eyes were much sparkling when she was a little kid
Now even the coal pencil cannot bring that shine again
She stands up without any emotions, She is as blank as a white paper.
Her long black hair and wide eyes compliment her outfit completely.
Oh how beautiful she looks but something is missing.
There is no happiness on the face of the girl who always loved to look pretty.
She is living the nightmare of most women her age.
How unfair her life is she thinks, with this thought, tears roll  down.
She takes a deep breathe and controls her emotions.
Her room is that of a classic fanciful woman.
Her movement is that of a graceful lady
But for her this is nothing of value for everything she is, is reflected by her face.
This room was decorated for her like this everyday,
Shes the spitting image of broken woman.
She fears she is more scar than skin. More salt than water.
More fat than normal.
With deep dark black chocolate skin
But she ain't gonna make it unless she ain't got that light buttercup skin
Society will fight her because shes no longer the carrier of a stereotypical curvy woman
To say fat don't mean curvy
Nights haunt her, moons scare her.
She hates to be alone
To not also have the touch of a man caress her inner thighs
To not have the touch of a men, whose long hands wrap around her neck as he whispers some sweet words into her ear
Ticklish...
Tick
Tick
Tick
Men frighten her.
For too long, they have rejected her.
Now she knows why her mother used to stop her whenever she said she wants be like her,
Now she knows why her mother cried whenever she hugged her.
These bangles are fetters to her, All the colours are not so happy for her. Her innocence is lost somewhere, she don't even remember when she laughed last without faking.
She is like a body without soul. She is like a night with no moon.
If only knew she was beautiful
An that beauty doesn't always come on tv screens and magazines
So its okay to no be pretty enough
Its okay to not feel the flaws nibbling at the core of ones heart
Its the scars that make us beautiful
Its the scars that turn to silver and gold
Beauty is beyond the mirrors view,
Beauty defeats peoples opinions,because its more than that.
Beauty is learning to be satisfied with self and not comparing yourself to others,
Beauty is loving and respecting yourself,
Beauty is a loving heart,
Beauty is a beautiful soul...
Beauty is empathy,
Its love,
Its a heart that cares,
Its the eyes that see beyond the appearance,
Its the lips that speak peace and laughter and love,
Its the body that feels the beat of good music,
Its simply not enough beauty to reflect on the beauty that doesn't matter

If only she could stare deeper in her soul and say
"Hie, I am an ordinary woman
Certainly no movie star looks
I think I am a bit overweight
And have quiet personality
a bit conservative really.
But I'm sure you will love me"


#Beauty #Truth #Reflections #Poetry #SelfLove #Honesty #Mother #Mirrors

Shades of a fading sun

I know the fires of the sun
Every ray of light life giving
Destroys a little more
A spark for you would devastate my city
Why does passion burn intensely?
Why does it burn the bits and pieces
I desperately cling to?
Why does it let my heart turn to ash?
Its not what I intend
Its not what I need
Its not the world that feels my pain
That my heart becomes the coal
Fire
Fire brings warmth
Fire eviscerates
I guess its just my fate
To be only smoke and memory
As the better parts of me
Burn away
I know the fires of the sun
As it lights the bottom of the ocean
Both are fools to gravities charms
The weight you give me
The way you pull me
Why does passion reach so fully?
Why does love deceive me?
Why is there no skin I know
That isn't marked
By your tattooed name
Dear love

Free

Free

Yes, I never liked life at the moment,
anxiety filled me but I was numb to emotion.
I was ridden with fear, a plague
of what people said affected me
We rarely looked in the past
but the effects stayed,
they seemed to cast shadows
Repeating in my mind
playing over and over all the time
They spoke acrimoniously
and used words unconservatively.
Unknown to them that their words were trenchant
and highly unpleasant
I was usually strong
but the pain caused had carried on too long
Dragged to far
Pained too much
I never cared how people came to
their reason of being
no matter what people sayed, they never hurt! What ever
the time, day or season.
But
I'm tired of hiding who I am.
I want to be free, not live in fear that others
wouldn't understand.
I want to soar into the deep dark blue skies
I want to swim in to the deep dark blue waters
I want to be
Me

© Rye Harbour